panther's lair

i can't...i can't even remember what i was going to say anymore. i am sorry if that last entry was disturbing...

it was a very uncomfortable situation (actually, what ended up happening was so much easier to deal with than all the horrific stuff my mind had conjured up for me), so while it wasn't a pleasant thing to deal with- i thought it would have been worse. i didn't intend to leave such a confusing mess on this page earlier, but i just had to let it out. just had to.

suffice it to say that it almost all occurred due to miscommunication and overreaction.

on the plus side, i have a few classes lined up for fall now. so at least i will be bringing in *some* income.

sometimes i feel like just running away from it all- just fleeing...but what good would that even do...my life will always just follow me. so instead of running or hiding (both of which are the things i want to do more than anything), i am gonna try to just keep going. just keep stepping. keep trying to work through my grief, my anxiety, and my depression without completely destroying the rest of my life in the process.

how are you supposed to fix your life when it won't slow down long enough to even catch up...