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there is a spot in my back that feels like it is pulling all other muscles towards it. my shoulder blades are being pulled to that spot in the center of my back. my neck and head feel like they are being tightened towards my back. my hips feel like they are being raised up towards that spot. that spot won't pop. it won't release. it won't do *anything* except cause me grief today. in other news...it's time for therapy hour. sigh. i believe i was to go into the third way to untwist my thinking...so onward then. 3. the double-standard method. when you have a negative, self-critical thought, you are supposed to ask yourself "would i say the same thing to a close friend who had a very similar problem?" people tend to be so much harder on themselves than they are on others. when friends make mistakes or don't meet their goals, i don't think they are losers, failures, and all that. but i do the slightest thing and i will put myself down for days about it. the thing that is sort of amusing about all this is that berating yourself doesn't make you do a better job- tearing yourself to shreds will only make you want to give up. the idea in this section is to make yourself stop and think about what you would tell a close friend in the same situation- and tell yourself the same thing. i would never tell a friend "you are gonna screw this up, you aren't gonna be able to do it right." but man, i tell myself that crap all the time. 4. the experimental technique this is when you ask yourself if there is a way to test your negative thoughts to see if they are actually true. the book gives an interesting example about a depressed woman who felt like her friends and husband didn't really care about her or like her anymore. she started staying at home all the time, stopped answering phone calls...sounds pretty familiar to me. well- what happened then is that people gave up and quit calling after awhile- which gave the woman "evidence" that nobody liked her. so the book then says you should test that out- call some friends and invite them to lunch. see what happens- see if they act like they don't like you. even if your negative thoughts are partially true, they are seldom as bad as you expect. the scientist in me likes that idea- the socially anxious freak in me wants to cower in a corner... anywho, i am actually done for now...
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