panther's lair

i did read some more on the fatherless women book.

it seems that it is not at all uncommon for women who lose their fathers to go through...personal crises...for lack of a better phrase. many people completely switch careers when this happens. i was already in a bit of a career crisis before my dad died. i am making no decisions yet- but i am tossing some ideas around in my head. i will be teaching again starting next week- and maybe that will respark my passion for teaching. i hope. i don't want to not love it anymore...but currently, i am apathetic.

another thing that often happens during a tragedy (or in the couple years following it) is that your relationships change. sometimes longterm friendships, marriages, and other significant relationships break up. that does make me nervous, but i think me and my sweet one will be ok because we have already been through a good deal of crap and we have made it so far...so i am hopeful about that...but because i am an anxious freak i would be lying if i said that didn't make me a little nervous.

there was a paragraph i liked in that book:

"A grieving woman is a prickly person, no matter how much we wish it weren't so. Forget the pining, tear-stained heroine, that convention of sentimental novels and weepy films. The reality, for most of us who have undergone a loss, is much less palatable, and for those who love us, much harder to comfort."

that is a big reason that relationships often end after a death. other reasons are more complex and i don't really want to write about all of it here...but that paragraph above struck me.