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over the course of the year, my anxiety has come back in all shapes and forms, and it has been very intense too. i feel like i am afraid of everything these days... but the worst, by far, (i think), is my fear of the phone. i am still shaking from a phone call from a few minutes ago (and it turned out to be a wrong number). my mind immediately and always goes to the worst when the phone rings unless the phone call was pre-arranged through email or something like that. so, after a trip to see the sweet one's family for the weekend, i am going to look into how to fix that. because a ringing phone should NOT induce a panic attack. that is unacceptable to me. the idea of fixing it though is absolutely terrifying. ridiculous.
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