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when i am trying to fall asleep, i do sudoku puzzles to wind down. at some point, i realized that i could write down some of the bizarre thoughts or images that came into my head as i was drifting off. i never really remember doing this, but it is always amusing when i find these little gems the next night. so...i thought, since i am almost finished with this puzzle book and will need a new one soon, i would post them all here...i wrote it as i originally put it- anything in parenthesis is added right now. also, things i couldn't easily put as they are, i described in parenthesis. the variety of stuff amuses me. - (on the first couple pages, before you even get to the puzzles, i have the prime numbers written only through 200). - p. 103 fatherless women last paragraph (i was reading about fatherless women at the time...but i don't know what that paragraph is about anymore). - grandpa's birthday /grandpa's birthday/ sister's birthday. road. taebow. (wtf?? also, the first grandpa's birthday has a box drawn around it, sister's birthday is underlined and it is all written in printing that isn't like my normal printing.) - wonder worm (with a picture of a worm wearing a cape) - herring collection (er?) - i have an old jewish ladies voice in my head mixed with that new all american rejects song. - no sir, no dancing today -bad luck and even worse coping skills. last year i spent fucking my life up and having it fucked up by things out of my hands entirely. this year i hope to work on fixing that so maybe 1 year from now i can start being happy. - i think about and obsess over death- fear, anger, sadness, resentment, terror, so many feelings. dad (the word dad has a box around it). - 9:30 wed. morning. exam 2 dev. (both with boxes drawn around them) - lost - feed and water cat's and clean boxes. the boy's game. (all scratched out) - (a list of things i needed to pack for a trip- all crossed off. it consisted mostly of various medications) - an addendum- her stepdad talking about his butt or something. him having to poop. playing with and holding tiny puppies. stealing kisses, making out once (while completely alone) arguing a little but always making up quickly. astroboy playing in background. singing with the ipod, sprinkled throughout. (sounds like i was talking about a trip to see the frau's family) - (a series of numbers that i continued to double. also various other math type things) - i miss you dad! (underlined several times) - (an odd looking face i drew with a large open mouth, big lips, pointy teeth, a bulbous honker, and shifty looking eyes) -ack (it is underlined) -(the word money drawn in pointy looking letters) - puff (it is circled) - STOP! fucking obsessing! (under it is a picture of what looks like a bow tie) - yes (traced around) - oat boat bloat coat goat gloat dote mote or moat note rote tote vote - FEEL LIKE ASS! - i had the sound of a cow bell constantly ringing in my head. - sorry for the snippy message. - just really stressed. - now things are even more convenient. - own problems. - lunch and ASP. - argue. - bad year. - please do ASP. - you have more money. - your life gets better while ours just gets worse. - because of you. (all of this is crossed and scribbled out). - make cds. greenday - sweet one. new stuff- sweet one. justin & christina - s. - tiedye rhinestone skivvies - dr. office doodles. (this also has a short list of things to pack or buy, again mostly medications. it also has a face, concentric circles, the word grr drawn in block letters with a sort of lightning bolt under it, and a mouth with fangs) - STOP (drawn like a stop sign without the pole) - i have a televised football game in my head. now it is mariachi music. now a chinese man yelling. - people are singing in "sim" in my head - song in head from 80's i think. whoa oh whoa oh whoa whoa whoa oh oh. and do you feel scared, "i do." - another day. why is "i do" in quotes above? - rhapsodize (also a bunch of X's drawn side by side, looks a bit like part of a fence). - sounds of orchestra and singers tuning up and warming up before a concert is stuck in my head. - received warning for speeding. - neat people usually have neat friends. - i bruised, badly, and made swell up my pinky and pointer finger while dancing at our friend's fairy wedding. - ack! - (some phone number, i think it is my cell phone. or maybe the wife's cell phone) - umbrella ella ella ugh - welcome back kotter theme song in head. (also, several asterisk type stars with different numbers of points drawn) - (there is a countdown that is as follows) 9:30 pm sunday 118 hours. mon. morn 4 am. 111.5 more hours. mon morn 8:30 am 107 more hours. tues morn. 4 am 87.5 more hrs. wednesday (the time is ripped out) am 66 hrs. thursday 2:30 am 41 hrs. friday 2 am 17.5 hrs. friday 2 pm 5.5 hrs. friday 5:30 pm 2 hrs. - (a drawing of what appears to be a dart board) - red. fat vanilla wafers (circled) - girafficus (what is a girafficus?) - NERVOUS SUCKS! - damn sweet one! 4:30 am at beach maaaad maaad. - i miss my daddy. sad for my family. - sometimes i feel guilty when i start feeling better. - "sometimes i cry at night when i'm lying in bed, just to get it all out, what's in my head." - (some directions to a friend's house are written) - (a block x is drawn) - hate teh start of a semester- especially fall. - vertical piganoid (what??) - keep trying to imagine bob sagat with a combover and it won't stop! why?? - "in the garage, i feel safe" harmonica part @ beginning is in my head." - my dad hugging me when i graduated high school, moved to college, move to georgia... - going to the going to the going to the hardware store.
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